My years of education. wow and for what they were. School as i remember was usually the best time of my days because i was away from the pain of watching my mother and dave loose themselves in the beer they drank or the cocaine she snorted. It was my escape, my getaway . like my own personal retreat to give me time to fade the pain and memories of the previous nights incodents.I remember when i was just young about 10 or so my father had set dave up with an illegal activity wich consisted of me not allowed to have friends over to keep alot more of my home life on the hush. that made me so mad i was hurt i was upset not quite understanding why i had to deal with the consiquences of THEIR actions. for it was not me that made that choice so why should i have to loose or suffer. i was filled with so much rage and anger towards bill that i told the school counsillor what was going on in my home life and from there is where it started taking the turns for the worst. dave was arrested as well as my mother i was sent to live at a lady named traceys house. but yet my father felt no reporcusion of this incedent wich made me more mad because it was his fault this all happend the way it did. i soon after was able to return home after all the child services reports and cases were veiwed and closed. i thought life would be better after that but no i had it all wrong. now i was the outcast of the family . the RAT the one that turned them in. but yet dave the one who got in the most trouble was the only one to truely understand the reason behind my doings. he told me it was ok that he still loved me and everything was better now. oh man how i still wish that was true. it never did change anything. bill and my mother were still addicts i was still lonely and still i went to school with a smile on my face . i tried to let everyone see that it was a happy kid they were looking at but some how they all knew it was just a show. maybe its from the time my mother showed up at my school drunker then a skunk at 9am screaming down the hallway to tell me to get my ass home. never did i know the reason for her actions that day. or maybe it was the smell of marijuana and beer they could smell to know that she was an unfit mother. but still I belived she was doing the best she could ,giving it her ALL. well reality soon sunk in when i realized she wasnt at all . and that is when i said i want to move to my fathers. now that was probly one of the BIGGEST mistakes in my life. i thought all would be great start school there new friends new environment new family new life ..... wrong