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Life story writing: revealing family secrets
Life story writing can be very therapeutic. Sure, sharing the details of your life can be comforting in some ways, especially when recalling details of loved ones who are far away or may have passed away. But it can also be difficult to recall difficult times you may rather forget all together. You may feel that life story writing could reveal more details about your life than you care to share. On the other hand, your story, no matter how difficult it is, could actually help someone enduring similar circumstances.
To share or not to share
You have a story that you want to tell. The problem is you keep going back and forth over whether it's too personal to tell. You can still share your experience with others while protecting your privacy. Life story writing can be done anonymously, or you can use a pen name if you have plans to publish your story. Stories like surviving childhood or marital abuse, addiction, divorce, death and other unfortunate life events can be inspiring to others who are in the midst of dealing with these difficulties. Using an assumed name with life story writing allows you to speak out about your personal experiences honestly, protecting yourself and others in your story.
Write your life story from a different perspective
Speaking in third person when embarking on a life story writing journey can provide some needed distance when a story is difficult to share. When writing in third person saying for example: "Mary survived the challenge of the two week blizzard with nothing but an old kerosene heater…", no one has to know that "Mary" is actually you. Life story writing in the third person can be difficult – especially when you reach points in your story that are still emotionally raw for you. It is another choice to consider when you wish to maintain privacy as you embark on a journey of life story writing. Just make sure to include a disclaimer stating that the names of all characters in your story have been changed.
Use a journalistic style
If you are hired to begin life story writing for someone else who doesn't have time or the ability to pen their own story, you should approach the project journalistically. Determine the purpose of the life story writing project so that you will know how to approach it. If the goal of the story is to share information to help others, you can write an article or book with journalistic objectivity focusing on a specific problem or situation. Interview any experts and others who have dealt with similar circumstances. Make sure to inform your contacts that you will change names if requested.
Wait for the right time
With life story writing, timing is everything. You should be sensitive if your family is just recovering form a crisis such as a death, addiction, recently diagnosed mental illness or anything other sensitive situation. Everyone involved may still be adjusting to what has happened. By all means, keep a day-to-day journal of what you are experiencing or feeling. They will come in handy later providing needed details when it is appropriate to begin your life story writing project. As time passes, you may change your mind about the information you chose to share through your life story writing.
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