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Memoir writing? "It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."—E.L. Doctorow.
Many people who decide to write an autobiography haven’t done much writing before, apart from papers in school or the occasional business correspondence. Don’t let the fear of “not being good enough” get in your way. After all, your life story is something for your close friends and family to read. There’s no need to worry about perfection. The key is to capture your stories in your own voice, for this special audience—and perhaps future generations—to appreciate.
In order to help you along your way, Write My Memoirs has assembled some time-tested writing hints. These are techniques employed by amateurs and professional writers alike. We’ve included ideas for how to get started, break through writer's block and make writing come to you more naturally. You can also check our blog for more ideas.
- Getting Started
- Writing Longhand
- How to Begin Writing
- Take a Break
- Pulling Stories From the Past
- Busting Writers' Block
- The Write My Memoirs Tool
Getting Started
The first thing to remember is that writing your autobiography cannot and should not be written in just a few sittings. This is a project that might take you a few weeks, or months. And if you find yourself enjoying the process, you may want to continue writing for much longer. So never pressure yourself to write a certain amount each day. What’s important is that you write something—whether it's an anecdote, a short memory or a full chapter—as often as the mood strikes you. Start by just writing a two-page memoir. Pick a simple subject so you don't feel any pressure. Perhaps something unique happened today that you can jot down.
Remember, your autobiography is really just a collection of these smaller events. Storing them at Write My Memoirs will keep all your thoughts organized in one place.
Before you sit down at the computer, some writers find it helpful to prepare. Get yourself a cup of coffee or tea, turn the music down and maybe take the phone off the hook. It helps to clear distractions from the room. The best hint may be, “Turn off the TV set!”
Make sure your desk, chair and lamp provide a comfortable writing experience. Don’t try typing on your computer at the kitchen table if your kitchen chairs are hard and uncomfortable. This will make your writing experience unpleasant! Find a comfortable, supportive chair and a desk or other writing surface that sits at the proper height. You need to be comfortable for the memories to flow! If you are using a laptop computer, you may want to place it on a small box (a sturdy shoebox will work) on your desk, to raise the monitor to a comfortable viewing height. Good lighting is also important, so if you’re not in a room with sufficient overhead or natural light, you may want to find a small desk lamp for extra illumination on the keyboard.
Writing in Longhand
A lot of people are more comfortable writing longhand, using a pen and paper, and then transferring those thoughts later by typing their stories and notes into their Write My Memoirs account. Many writers, especially those who began using a computer later in life, find their thoughts come faster when they don’t have to concentrate on a keyboard. This is perfectly acceptable. Just be sure to type your stories into your Write My Memoirs account as soon as possible. You don’t want to wait until so many stories have stacked up, that typing them in becomes drudgery! It's probably easiest to enter each session's stories into Write My Memoirs before starting on your next in longhand.
How to Begin Writing
Now that you’re perched comfortably at your computer and logged in to Write My Memoirs, jot down two or three quick phrases that come to mind. Keep the thoughts loose. Maybe just write, “Trip to Cape May with the cousins” or “Hunting snakes with Dad.” Maybe a few more will come to you; write those down, too.
One of those notes may start to take shape in your mind. Try to remember the weather that day, what you were wearing, how you felt doing that activity or being with those people. Just keep writing phrases and don’t worry about making it feel like a story just yet. You might write, “Hot weather and lots of mosquitoes at the beach. Kids in the water all day long. Everyone got sunburned.” Later, you can fill in the transitions and descriptions that make this story feel like a whole narrative.
If the memories aren’t flowing, take a look at our section called “What Makes a Memory” for some inspiration.
Take a Break
One of the most important parts of the writing process can be stopping. If you force yourself to write for one full hour a day or commit to a full chapter each day, you may find yourself thinking of writing as a chore. It should be something you enjoy, so be sure to give yourself permission to stop when you’re tired or just need a break.
Many writers find that taking a walk can be just the break they need from sitting in front of a computer screen. Simply walking around the block, running a quick errand or exercising your pet can give you a welcome diversion. When you return to the computer, you may find your thoughts are clearer and you’re ready to write a more fully formed story. If so, feel free to write until that particular memory or short story is complete. Congratulations! You’re on your way!
Pulling Stories From the Past
Sometimes writers have old family stories or family secrets that they want to put down on paper. It can be difficult to get these kinds of stories down, not only because the writing process can be emotional, but also because the passage of time has made the memories dim somewhat. Family secrets can lurk in the recess of your mind for many years, and if you’re ready to capture it, go to "My Stories," open a section devoted only to this situation, and give it a special title.
Stories your parents told you of their lives can be easily forgotten or confused. If you can, talk with your siblings or cousins and see if they remember the story differently or more vividly. Collaboration in writing can be very helpful. But don't feel the need to be totally accurate. You're writing your memory.
Events that provoke extreme emotions are often the ones that first come to mind: Did you experience a very funny childhood event? Maybe there was a day full of joy or tragedy that springs to mind? Start with that event. Others will start to naturally follow.
Write My Memoirs includes a timeline of historical events and lists of inventions and famous people since 1930. These are not complete lists, but they can be helpful to writers. Take a look and you may find that they jog your memory about your life at that time.
Busting Writer's Block
You may have been on a roll for some time, writing a little bit each day or every week when, suddenly, you get stuck and the stories no longer come to mind easily. You may want to write about something extremely important in your autobiography and not know how to approach it. Or you may have lost your drive to write for now. Don’t worry; this happens to all writers at one point or another, and there are plenty of ways around it!
The best way to address writer's block is to continue jotting notes whenever your find yourself reminiscing. Carry a small notepad and pencil with you, because you never know when an idea might strike you. You might be having lunch with a friend when something he says reminds you of a similar experience you had. Write it down immediately, because when you return home you may feel motivated to write about it.
You also may find inspiration from reading biographies (such as the excellent presidential biographies by Doris Kearns Goodwin or David McCullough), memoirs (The Diary of Anne Frank or Iacocca are just two examples), fiction (Memoirs of a Geisha or The Namesake) or writing instruction (Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott, is a superb writer's chronicle.) Reading can show you how a story unfolds and can give you new perspective on your life’s events.
Finally, talk about your writer’s block with friends and family. They may remember the story you’re trying to write about and be able to help you through the writing process with their own memories of that time.
The Write My Memoirs Tool
Suggested BeginningsListed below are some suggestions to assist you in getting started with your memoirs. You can mix and match these so you feel comfortable with your opening chapter.
I was born on (insert date), the (1st, 2nd, 3rd) child of (# of siblings).
The world at that time was (at war, at peace; times were booming, in recession).
Our family lived in____________, which was a (middle class, affluent) neighborhood.
My earliest memories are of______________________.
I attended _____________ elementary school and remember_________.
My days at school were (happy, sad, tumultuous, difficult). I was a (good, average, poor, excellent) student, active in__________. I had (many, few) friends.
My family moved to this country in _____________.
My mother was a (adjective) woman, my father was a (adjective) man. They spent (a lot of time, no time) with us growing up. We were a (close, distant) family.
Early Years
This can be a difficult section, so you may not want to start at the beginning. You may have special memories, but in fact most people have trouble recalling these years. What might be useful is describing your parents. How would you describe your mother and father? You may remember the birth of a younger sibling, an illness in the family or the move to a new home. It may be best to come back to this section later.
Elementary School
Remember that friendships were formed at this time, learning skills were developed and for many it was a fun time. Certain teachers may have influenced you positively, and some may have been tyrants. How did it feel that first day?
High School
High school, for many, opened new doors. Learning was raised to a new level with greater demands. There were academic clubs to be part of, social clubs and athletic teams. You may have started dating. Is this when you first fell in love? Friendships were formed that may have lasted to the present. You could write a whole story about your favorite music of the time.
College/University/Trade School
Were you fortunate enough to continue your education after high school? This period in most lives was very critical. Horizons were opened. For many it was a time to meet students with different backgrounds and from other parts of the country or the world. There may have been fraternities, sororities or social clubs. Did you fall in love or meet your spouse at this time?
Military Service
This section will not apply to all. For those who served, there will be many anecdotal stories to relay. If you served during a time of conflict, you may want to share your opinions of the conflict. Were you stationed outside the country? Was this your first experience away from your home?
Work Experience
Do you remember your first job interview? What was your first job? Were there any friendships made through work that have continued? Why did you leave the job?
My Stories
This chapter allows you to write any interesting event you want. You can title it for the specific event and then capture another story or event with a different title. This, perhaps, could become the most used section of your Write My Memoirs account. It also may be the best section to start with.
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