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Composite Characters: A Memoir Controversy

Composite Characters: The Latest Memoir Controversy

A controversy about writing memoirs? Last week, just such an issue emerged when an upcoming book about President Barack Obama that was excerpted in Vanity Fair. Author David Maraniss reveals in the book that President Obama’s memoir, Dreams of My Father, presented a girlfriend who was really a composite of more than one woman. The memoir includes a disclaimer indicating that “compression” was used as a writing technique. In an interview years later, Mr. Obama explained his decision to use the technique by saying, “I was very sensitive in my book not to write about my girlfriends, partly out of respect for them.”

In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Maraniss dismisses the need to be 100 percent factual in a memoir. He says, “The theme of [Obama’s] memoir is race, and so both the chronology and the characters in his writing were used to advance that theme.”

Is this valid? As you write your memoirs, you’re trying to create a narrative that is compelling and easy to read. So is it okay to describe an event in a dramatic way that makes your point better than any event that actually happened? I can’t quite accept that in a memoir, and a disclaimer isn’t enough, either. At the point of relating the anecdote, you owe it to the reader to explain that you’re talking about what might have happened, or you’re describing a situation that combined elements from various times in your life; you’re not faithfully sharing one true event. Our memories play tricks on us, but a memoir should relate the facts as we best remember them.

A controversy about writing memoirs? Last week, just such an issue emerged when an upcoming book about President Barack Obama was excerpted in Vanity Fair. Author David Maraniss reveals in the book that President Obama’s memoir, Dreams of My Father, presented a girlfriend who was really a composite of more than one woman. The memoir includes a disclaimer indicating that “compression” was used as a writing technique. In an interview years later, Mr. Obama explained his decision to use the technique: “I was very sensitive in my book not to write about my girlfriends, partly out of respect for them.”

In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Maraniss dismisses the need to be 100 percent factual in a memoir. He says, “The theme of [Obama’s] memoir is race, and so both the chronology and the characters in his writing were used to advance that theme.”

Is this valid? As you write your memoirs, you’re trying to create a narrative that is compelling and easy to read. So is it okay to describe an event in a dramatic way that makes your point better than any event that actually happened? I can’t quite accept that in a memoir, and a disclaimer isn’t enough, either. At the point of relating the anecdote, you owe it to the reader to explain that you’re talking about what might have happened, or you’re describing a situation that combines elements from various times in your life; you’re not faithfully sharing one true event. Our memories play tricks on us, but a memoir should relate the facts as we best remember them.

May 15th, 2012 by admin

Tags: memoir writing

Posted in Celebrity memoirs, Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process, Pertinent internet site

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What You and Carole King Have in Common

On NBC’s Today Show this morning, Ann Curry interviewed iconic singer/songwriter Carole King, now 70, about her new memoir, A Natural Woman. As she spoke about her reasons for writing a memoir and the memoir writing process in general, she reminded me of you! Judging by the email we receive from WriteMyMemoirs members, a lot of what Carole expressed is universally felt among people who decide to put their life stories into words. See whether you relate:

Ann: “People say that writing a memoir is incredibly illuminating. What did you learn about yourself?”

Carole: “Oh my gosh, I learned so much….Why did I actually do the things I did, and why did I choose the men I chose?”

In the book, Carole describes some physical abuse at the hands of a lesser-known of her four husbands.

Carole: “The writing of this story—I wasn’t sure I was going to include it in the book—but I wanted people to understand, people who go through [domestic abuse]—mostly women but some men—that you’re not alone. This is a phenomenon that can even happen to somebody like me, who was successful, who had financial independence.” The book includes information about where to go for help.

Carole on why it took 12 years, until age 70, to finish the book: “I finally felt the calmness….People have said, ‘You should write about your life,’ for a lot of my life because I have such an interesting life. But it was only until just before I was 60 that I just said, ‘Okay, I’m ready to embrace this stage of my life.”

Ann, noting that Carole has more than 400 compositions recorded by 1000+ artists to her credit, plus five grandchildren: “How do you want to be remembered…now that you’ve looked back on [your life]?

Carole: “My goal every day is to try to be a good person, to try to do kind things, to try to make the world a better place in the ways that I can. And if I have influenced one person in a good way, that’s good enough.”

Click here to view video of the entire interview.

On NBC’s Today Show this morning, Ann Curry interviewed iconic singer/songwriter Carole King, now 70, about her new memoir, A Natural Woman. As she spoke about her reasons for writing a memoir and the memoir writing process in general, she reminded me of you! Judging by the email we receive from WriteMyMemoirs members, a lot of what Carole expressed is universally felt among people who decide to put their life stories into words. See whether you relate:

Ann: “People say that writing a memoir is incredibly illuminating. What did you learn about yourself?”
Carole: “Oh my gosh, I learned so much….Why did I actually do the things I did, and why did I choose the men I chose?”

In the book, Carole describes some physical abuse at the hands of a lesser-known of her four husbands.
Carole: “The writing of this story—I wasn’t sure I was going to include it in the book—but I wanted people to understand, people who go through [domestic abuse]—mostly women but some men—that you’re not alone. This is a phenomenon that can even happen to somebody like me, who was successful, who had financial independence.” The book includes information about where to go for help.

Carole on why it took 12 years, until age 70, to finish the book: “I finally felt the calmness….People have said, ‘You should write about your life,’ for a lot of my life because I have such an interesting life. But it was only until just before I was 60 that I just said, ‘Okay, I’m ready to embrace this stage of my life.”

Ann, noting that Carole has more than 400 compositions recorded by 1000+ artists to her credit, plus five grandchildren: “How do you want to be remembered…now that you’ve looked back on [your life]?”
Carole: “My goal every day is to try to be a good person, to try to do kind things, to try to make the world a better place in the ways that I can. And if I have influenced one person in a good way, that’s good enough.”

Click here to view video of the entire interview.

April 10th, 2012 by admin

Tags: Celebrity memoirs

Posted in Celebrity memoirs, Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process

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Write Memoirs for “Post-Traumatic Growth”

We hear a lot about post-traumatic stress. Soldiers in war, victims of crime and survivors of accidents and illnesses all face a heightened risk of dysfunction due to stress simply because of their difficult experiences. But have you ever heard about “post-traumatic growth”? This refers to the positive effects that a traumatic experience can have on us. We can actually learn from our trauma.

Many of the people who write to us here at WriteMyMemoirs share with us their personal tragedies, losses and challenges in putting the past behind them. We always encourage them to write a memoir as a way to work through those life-changing times. Writing it out helps to put things in perspective. It may provide an epiphany “a-ha!” awareness, or it can simply feel satisfying to get the facts in order and explore all the feelings involved.

Whether you have had a fully traumatic life or you’ve experienced just one traumatic event, please don’t let the post-traumatic stress define you. By writing your memoir, perhaps you will be able to turn it around and experience post-traumatic growth that allows you to move on. Instead of trying futilely to forget what happened to you, you’ll be confronting it. You’ll take the power back and, while you can’t reverse what happened, you can find a way to grow from it. Moreover, you may be helping others who read your memoir.

March 27th, 2012 by admin

Tags: memoir writing

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process

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Valentine’s Day and Love in Memoirs

Since today is Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love and romance! This can be a sticky topic in a memoir. How much information is too much?

Consider your audience and your goal. If you’re writing your memoirs primarily for your children, grandchildren and friends, you may want to limit your courtship stories to the person or people who have been important to your family. If you have been married to one person for decades, that person is probably the only one you’ll want to talk about. A couple of charming anecdotes about your courtship and what dating was like during the era you met can form a wonderful chapter in a memoir. Readers will be interested in learning why you were attracted to each other, how you overcame obstacles to being together and a description of your engagement and wedding. Valentine’s Day itself may come up as you reminisce about your years together.

If you have had more than one spouse or important significant other, carefully determine how much you want to share about past relationships. This decision is likely to be shaped by whether you were widowed or divorced. If you express any bitter feelings, read that section over a few times or ask someone you trust how it comes across. Again, your goal becomes important. If you want your memoirs to be a statement of your perspective on everything that has happened to you, all of your major relationships may be pertinent. People’s feelings get easily hurt, so just be careful. And Happy Valentine’s Day!

Since today is Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love and romance! This can be a sticky topic in a memoir. How much information is too much?

Consider your audience and your goal. If you’re writing your memoirs primarily for your children, grandchildren and friends, you may want to limit your courtship stories to the person or people who have been important to your family. If you have been married to one person for decades, that person is probably the only one you’ll want to talk about. A couple of charming anecdotes about your courtship and what dating was like during the era you met can form a wonderful chapter in a memoir. Readers will be interested in learning why you were attracted to each other, how you overcame obstacles to being together and a description of your engagement and wedding. Valentine’s Day itself may come up as you reminisce about your years together.

If you have had more than one spouse or important significant other, carefully determine how much you want to share about past relationships. This decision is likely to be shaped by whether you were widowed or divorced. If you express any bitter feelings, read that section over a few times or ask someone you trust how it comes across. Again, your goal becomes important. If you want your memoirs to be a statement of your perspective on everything that has happened to you, all of your major relationships may be pertinent. People’s feelings get easily hurt, so just be careful. And Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14th, 2012 by admin

Tags: life story, memoir writing

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process

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New Features on WriteMyMemoirs

We hope you’ve been enjoying the additions to our website. We’ve tried to come up with ways to keep you writing if you get stuck.

You probably have noticed the button, “Don’t know what to write about?” If you click on that, you’ll pull up hints about topics that you might want to include in your memoir. For example, one hint is: “Did you volunteer for charities or other organizations? Did you enjoy that?” That might trigger your memory about being a room mother for your child at school, a coach for your kid’s basketball team or a candy striper when you were younger. Remembering those experiences can lead to interesting anecdotes, so we hope a reminder like that helps to move your life story forward.

Each hint also includes the question, “Was this helpful to you?” You can opt out of answering this, of course, but if you do click on either “yes” or “no” your response becomes part of our database that automatically brings up that particular hint either more frequently or less frequently, depending on whether people have found it helpful.

Through these hints and a few other features we’ll explain in future blogs, we aim to make your experience on WriteMyMemoirs unique. We value all of our members and, when you sign up with us, your goal becomes our goal: we want each of our members to complete a full memoir. Good luck writing!

January 10th, 2012 by admin

Tags: life story, memoirs

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process, WriteMyMemoirs community

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For Memoir Research, You CAN Go Home Again

For Memoir Research, You Can Go Home Again

We’re all so mobile these days! Many of us have moved several times since birth and today live nowhere near what we’d identify as our hometown. As seniors, we often relocate to wherever our children’s whims have taken them! Maybe as you write your memoirs, it’s time to go home again.

“If you are tracing your family’s history, few activities are more thrilling than traveling to your ancestor’s village or gravesite,” claims the “senior travel” section of about.com. “Standing where your forebears walked long ago is an amazing experience.” Calling this research a “genealogy vacation,” the piece has a few suggestions:

Schedule enough time to just wander.

Spend enough time there to soak up the culture by doing things like eating in a family-owned restaurant, attending a worship service, visiting the area’s historical museum and chatting up the locals.

Talk to everyone about your memoir. You may find someone who knew your family or who has a colorful anecdote to share about the town.

Take a GPS or map so you don’t get lost! If the townspeople do not speak in your native tongue, also bring a good dictionary for their language.

The obvious: take tons of photographs.

The not-so-obvious: keep a journal of your experiences and a written log of the photos, in order.

Next week, between Christmas and New Year’s, is a great time to schedule this type of visit. You probably have some time off work, and the town will be decorated and cheery.

Schedule enough time to just wander.
Make sure to soak up the culture by doing things like eating in a family-owned restaurant, attending a worship service, visiting the area’s historical museum and chatting up the locals.
Talk to everyone about your memoir. You may find someone who knew your family or who has a colorful anecdote to share about the town.
Take a GPS or map so you don’t get lost! If the townspeople do not speak in your native tongue, also bring a good dictionary for their language.
The obvious: take tons of photographs.
The not-so-obvious: keep a journal of your experiences and a written log of the photos, in order.

Next week, between Christmas and New Year’s, is a great time to schedule this genealogy visit. You probably have some time off work, and the town will be decorated and cheery.

December 20th, 2011 by admin

Tags: memoir writing, memoirs

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process

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More Celebrity Memoir Beginnings

Let’s examine a few more celebrity memoirs for inspiration in constructing a first sentence or two. Michael J. Fox begins his 2002 memoir: “I woke up to find the message in my left hand. It had me trembling. It wasn’t a fax, telegram, memo or the usual sort of missive bringing disturbing news. In fact, my hand held nothing. The trembling was the message.” Readers know that Fox will receive a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease, but the beginning still is poignant compelling.

Each chapter of the 2011 memoir of Dancing With the Stars professional dancer Cheryl Burke is named for a type of dance, which Cheryl uses as a metaphor for something in her personality or experience. She begins Chapter 1: “The freestyle dance is not restricted by any conventional steps or choreography. It is simply a dance in which the dancer can showcase whatever movement or emotion seems appropriate.” So you don’t have to begin with something personal. This is a little different way to begin a memoir.

Actor Alan Arkin chose a more traditional, straightforward two sentences to start his 2011 memoir: “My father said that at the age of five I asked him if he could keep a secret. He said yes he could, so I told him I was going to be an actor when I grew up.”

These authors zeroed in on an essence—ultimately the theme of the book. If you can identify what that is for you, your first sentence will write itself.

Each chapter of the 2011 memoir of Dancing With the Stars professional dancer Cheryl Burke is named for a type of dance, which Cheryl uses as a metaphor for something in her personality or experience. She begins Chapter 1: “The freestyle dance is not restricted by any conventional steps or choreography. It is simply a dance in which the dancer can showcase whatever movement or emotion seems appropriate.” So you don’t have to begin with something personal. This is a little different way to begin a memoir.

These authors zeroed in on an essence—ultimately the theme of the book. If you can identify what that is for you, the first sentence of your memoir will write itself.

December 13th, 2011 by admin

Tags: autobiography, Celebrity memoirs

Posted in Celebrity memoirs, Ideas for memoirs content

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Celebrity Autobiographies’ First Sentences

The opening sentence of a memoir is such a brain-freeze that many people give up the goal of writing an autobiography simply because they cannot come up with a satisfactory first line. Even country crooner Willie Nelson resorts to launching into his life story, The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes, with the cop-out, “They say writing the first line of a book is the hardest part.”

Fortunately, other celebrities make up for Willie’s appalling lack of originality. Consider this Chapter 1 first sentence: “My father was a very wise man who hated dishonesty more than he hated stupidity.”—from Don’t Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining, by television’s Judge Judy Sheindlin (written with a co-author).

Judy’s opening is followed by an anecdote from her youth that not only gives an example of how her dad chastised Judy when she tried to spin a bit of a tall tale, but also reveals her father’s influence on her own moral development as well as explaining the origin of her autobiography’s title. From there, Judy jumps to her first day as a judge, because her career is the focus of this memoir. The transition is deftly achieved, but there’s still a formula to it that you can borrow: begin with a statement that gets the reader curious, offer a pertinent anecdote and then make the connection to what you really want to talk about. More celebrity first-liners this next time.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060927941/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

The opening sentence of a memoir is such a brain-freeze that many people give up the goal of writing an autobiography simply because they cannot come up with a satisfactory first line. Even country crooner Willie Nelson resorts to launching into his life story, The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes, with the cop-out, “They say writing the first line of a book is the hardest part.”

Fortunately, other celebrities make up for Willie’s appalling lack of originality. Consider this Chapter 1 first sentence: “My father was a very wise man who hated dishonesty more than he hated stupidity.”—from Don’t Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining, by television’s Judge Judy Sheindlin (written with a co-author).

December 6th, 2011 by admin

Tags: autobiography, Celebrity memoirs

Posted in Celebrity memoirs, Ideas for memoirs content, Memoir writing process

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Good Week to Start Your Memoir

Lately we’ve been getting a lot of new members at WriteMyMemoirs, and we want to welcome all of you. However, we notice that many of you who have signed up recently have not yet gotten into the nitty-gritty of the writing. This is a great week to start—especially for Americans—for several reasons:

1. Today is a sad anniversary in the U.S. You’ve probably compared notes many times about “Where were you when JFK was shot?” So you already have that scene of receiving tragic news burned into your memory. You were at school or at work or at home, or maybe serving your country. You can start a chapter just describing what life was like for you at the time, and then go back to earlier in your life as well as crafting chapters on what happened next.

2. Thanksgiving is a holiday of traditions. What are yours? Think about all of the Thanksgiving dinners you’ve cooked and attended, and how they’ve changed over the years. Begin with the one you liked to write about most. You even could use this as a theme and start each chapter with the scene of a special holiday or tradition to makes a truly unique memoir.

3. Get your memoirs underway now, and when the year ends you’ll have a six-week head start on what is sure to be one of your New Year’s resolutions!

We at WriteMyMemoirs wish all celebrants a Happy Thanksgiving!

Lately we’ve been getting a lot of new members at WriteMyMemoirs, and we want to welcome all of you. However, we notice that many of you who have signed up recently have not yet gotten into the nitty-gritty of the writing. This is a great week to start—especially for Americans—for several reasons:

Today is a sad anniversary in the U.S. You’ve probably compared notes many times about “Where were you when JFK was shot?” So you already have that scene of receiving tragic news burned into your memory. You were at school or at work or at home, or maybe serving your country. You can start a chapter just describing what life was like for you at the time, and then go back to earlier in your life as well as crafting chapters on what happened next.
Thanksgiving is a holiday of traditions. What are yours? Think about all of the Thanksgiving dinners you’ve cooked and attended, and how they’ve changed over the years. Begin with the one you’d like to write about most. You even could use this as a theme and start each chapter with the scene of a special holiday or tradition to make a truly unique memoir.
Get your memoirs underway now, and when the year ends you’ll have a six-week head start on what is sure to be one of your New Year’s resolutions!

We at WriteMyMemoirs wish all celebrants a Happy Thanksgiving!

November 22nd, 2011 by admin

Tags: memoir writing, memoirs

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content

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Online Research Supplies Memoir Details

To write your memoirs, you probably rely primarily on your own memory. But no one remembers everything accurately. If you and your sibling compare notes about an anecdote from your early family life, you’ll likely find discrepancies with no way to tell whose description is closer to what actually happened.

But some facts are verifiable. When and where was that uncle born? In what year did that neighbor die? What was the weather like that day? What street did that friend live on? All of these details add texture to your writing even if they’re not essential to the core of your story.

Today, you can locate many of these facts from the comfort of your computer desk. Most ancestral websites—ancestry.com and archives.com are two—require payment to get to the records. But they also tend to offer a free seven-day period to try out the site. You will have to register, but you won’t have to pay. As you write, leave the dates and places in question blank. When you’ve finished the rest of your memoir, make a list of all of the people you need to research, and try to fit that research into the free seven-day period. Weather on a day in history is easy—and free. Try almanac.com, farmersalmanac.com or weather.org. Finding an old address is trickier, and your best bet for that, as well as some birth, death and marriage records, is to go through local resources. Check out the tips at howtoinvestigate.com.

To write your memoirs, you probably rely primarily on your own memory. But no one remembers everything accurately. If you and your sibling compare notes about an anecdote from your early family life, you’ll likely find discrepancies with no way to tell whose description is closer to what actually happened.

November 15th, 2011 by admin

Tags: life story, memoir writing

Posted in Ideas for memoirs content, Pertinent internet site

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