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Composite Characters: A Memoir Controversy

Composite Characters: The Latest Memoir Controversy
A controversy about writing memoirs? Last week, just such an issue emerged when an upcoming book about President Barack Obama that was excerpted in Vanity Fair. Author David Maraniss reveals in the book that President Obama’s memoir, Dreams of My Father, presented a girlfriend who was really a composite of more than one woman. The memoir includes a disclaimer indicating that “compression” was used as a writing technique. In an interview years later, Mr. Obama explained his decision to use the technique by saying, “I was very sensitive in my book not to write about my girlfriends, partly out of respect for them.”
In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Maraniss dismisses the need to be 100 percent factual in a memoir. He says, “The theme of [Obama’s] memoir is race, and so both the chronology and the characters in his writing were used to advance that theme.”
Is this valid? As you write your memoirs, you’re trying to create a narrative that is compelling and easy to read. So is it okay to describe an event in a dramatic way that makes your point better than any event that actually happened? I can’t quite accept that in a memoir, and a disclaimer isn’t enough, either. At the point of relating the anecdote, you owe it to the reader to explain that you’re talking about what might have happened, or you’re describing a situation that combined elements from various times in your life; you’re not faithfully sharing one true event. Our memories play tricks on us, but a memoir should relate the facts as we best remember them.

A controversy about writing memoirs? Last week, just such an issue emerged when an upcoming book about President Barack Obama was excerpted in Vanity Fair. Author David Maraniss reveals in the book that President Obama’s memoir, Dreams of My Father, presented a girlfriend who was really a composite of more than one woman. The memoir includes a disclaimer indicating that “compression” was used as a writing technique. In an interview years later, Mr. Obama explained his decision to use the technique: “I was very sensitive in my book not to write about my girlfriends, partly out of respect for them.”

In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Maraniss dismisses the need to be 100 percent factual in a memoir. He says, “The theme of [Obama’s] memoir is race, and so both the chronology and the characters in his writing were used to advance that theme.”

Is this valid? As you write your memoirs, you’re trying to create a narrative that is compelling and easy to read. So is it okay to describe an event in a dramatic way that makes your point better than any event that actually happened? I can’t quite accept that in a memoir, and a disclaimer isn’t enough, either. At the point of relating the anecdote, you owe it to the reader to explain that you’re talking about what might have happened, or you’re describing a situation that combines elements from various times in your life; you’re not faithfully sharing one true event. Our memories play tricks on us, but a memoir should relate the facts as we best remember them.

May 15th, 2012 by admin


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A Commonplace Book Can Help You Write Your Memoirs

Ever hear of a commonplace book? It’s been credited as an early seed for the modern blog. Instead of a journal or diary of your own thoughts, it’s a record of ideas—articles, artwork and anything, really—that strike you as interesting. You also can jot down your own thoughts, but a commonplace book is for common topics, or “commonplaces,” and not meant to chronicle your life’s experiences. Artistotle was the first known commonplace book keeper; Thomas Jefferson was another fan of the genre.

You can create a commonplace book just as they did, or you can put a modern twist on it by starting a commonplace book file on your computer. Instead of bookmarking an article or a website, do a copy-and-paste and throw the whole piece into the computer file. If you clip an article from a real newspaper, if your child presents you with a drawing or if you have movie, concert or sports event tickets you’d like to save, capture any of those by scanning and saving the image to your commonplace book file. You also can add photographs.

When you sit down with your memoir, these ideas and images will jog your memory and inspire your writing. You even can craft an entire memoir around the commonplace book—just add a thread of text to explain it all. If you’d like to write a memoir but want to take your time and don’t know where to start, try keeping a commonplace book first and let your memoir project grow from there.

May 8th, 2012 by admin


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Working With a Ghostwriter on Your Memoir? Don’t Lose Your Voice

Working With a Ghostwriter on Your Memoir? Don’t Lose Your Voice
I watched a battered Ryan O’Neal squirm through an uncomfortable interview on the Today Show this morning. I felt bad for the guy. He was promoting his new memoir, Both of Us: My Life With Farrah, which details his rocky relationship with the late Farrah Fawcett. Matt Lauer did what any interviewer would do: he asked the autobiographer about particularly disturbing or explosive passages in the memoir. O’Neal was exceedingly candid, at times he seemed almost unfamiliar with his own words from the book.
Lauer read one passage that ended, “…because our lives felt so pointless.” Ryan acted surprised. “Did I say ‘pointless’?” he asked Matt, who confirmed it, and then Ryan sidestepped that description and spoke about the rest of the passage. Quoting another passage, Matt asked Ryan about his account of Farrah spending long periods staring into the mirror, upset by the aging process. Again, Ryan cushioned the quote and addressed ancillary topics.
Ryan is listed as the first of three authors of the book. There’s no shame in having a ghostwriter or two; many celebrities and ordinary people may be great at what they do professionally but are simply not writers. When you hire a ghostwriter, you’re still the main author. Make sure you’re comfortable with your writing partner, you communicate freely with the writer and you approve of every word in the book. No matter who does the crafting, this is your story, your voice.

I watched a battered Ryan O’Neal squirm through an uncomfortable interview on the Today Show this morning. I felt bad for the guy. He was promoting his new memoir, Both of Us: My Life With Farrah, which details his rocky relationship with the late Farrah Fawcett. Matt Lauer did what any interviewer would do: he asked the autobiographer about particularly disturbing or explosive passages in the memoir. O’Neal was exceedingly candid but at times seemed almost unfamiliar with his own words from the book.

Lauer read one passage that ended, “…because our lives felt so pointless.” Ryan acted surprised. “Did I say ‘pointless’?” he asked Matt, who confirmed it, and then Ryan sidestepped that description and spoke about the rest of the passage. Quoting another passage, Matt asked Ryan about his account of Farrah spending long periods staring into the mirror, upset by the aging process. Again, Ryan cushioned the quote and addressed ancillary topics.

Ryan is listed as the first of three authors of the book. There’s no shame in having a ghostwriter or two; many celebrities and ordinary people may be great at what they do professionally but are simply not writers. When you hire a ghostwriter for your memoir, you’re still the main author. Make sure you’re comfortable with your writing partner, you communicate freely with the writer and you approve of every word in the book. No matter who does the crafting, this is your story, your voice.

May 1st, 2012 by admin


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Write Yourself Up Wiki-Style

Write Yourself Up Wiki-Style
We regularly receive email from people who want to write their memoirs but can’t get started. We suggest beginning with just one limited episode; once you’ve described that, you may be able to go on to the next. I think it’s easier than starting at the beginning of your life and going chronologically. But no matter what order you follow, you may find it helpful to have an outline. Breaking down your life into small segments will eventually shape your life’s larger themes. That’s where old, reliable Wikipedia comes in.
Look up your favorite celebrity or historical figure on wikipedia.com, and you’ll see that the biographical information follows an outline that appears along with the text. Read a few of them, and perhaps you’ll get into the swing of it enough to craft an outline for your own life.
For example, I looked up Benjamin Franklin, who lived a long and varied life. One category in his biography is Inventions and scientific inquiries. Another, Public Life, is broken down into: Europe years; Hutchinson letters; Coming of Revolution; Declaration of Independence; Postmaster; Ambassador to France: 1776–1785; Constitutional Convention; and President of Pennsylvania. As you can see, there’s no rule about how all of that is worded; it’s kind of a hodgepodge. If you can approach your own time line the same way—just write down a couple of words that trigger your memory about each major aspect, period or episode in your life, you’ll have made a great start to your autobiography.

We regularly receive email from people who want to write their memoirs but can’t get started. We suggest beginning with just one limited episode; once you’ve described that, you may be able to go on to the next. I think it’s easier than starting at the beginning of your life and going chronologically. But no matter what order you follow, you may find it helpful to have an outline. Breaking down your life into small segments will eventually shape your life’s larger themes. That’s where old, reliable Wikipedia comes in.

Look up your favorite celebrity or historical figure on Wikipedia.org, and you’ll see that the biographical information follows an outline that appears along with the text. Read a few of them, and perhaps you’ll get into the swing of it enough to craft an outline for your own life.

For example, I looked up Benjamin Franklin, who lived a long and varied life. One category in his biography is Inventions and scientific inquiries. Another, Public life, is broken down into: Europe years; Hutchinson letters; Coming of Revolution; Declaration of Independence; Postmaster; Ambassador to France: 1776–1785; Constitutional Convention; and President of Pennsylvania. As you can see, there’s no rule about how all of that is worded; it’s kind of a hodgepodge. If you can approach your own time line the same way—just write down a couple of words that trigger your memory about each major aspect, period or episode in your life, you’ll have made a great start to your autobiography.

April 24th, 2012 by admin


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Your Life as Improv Theater

Your Life as Improv Theater
As you’re writing your memoirs, I know many of you are picturing your stories coming to life as a script for the movies or theater. If you happen to be anywhere London, England, your vision could become reality sooner than you think.
Stillpoint, a British theatrical troupe, has established The Department of Unreliable Memoirs to conduct a “micro project” as part of the White Night presentations at one of its performance venues, the Nightingale Theater in Brighton. Billed as “an intimate encounter for one audience member,” the project requires the players to act out a scene from the life of an audience member who volunteers to describe the action. As the audience-member storyteller, you can play fast and loose with the facts: “Make an appointment with our helpful hostesses to retrieve a half forgotten moment, from a past you may well have had,” the promotion states.
It sounds as if it’s all in good fun, but maybe you could apply the concept as part of your memoirs writing process. Think about the various scenes from your life’s chapters. Which elements create drama? Can you incorporate humor in the story? Or does it amount to a tragedy? How can this narrative further the character development of the players in your life? And if you’d like to see actors play it out right in front of you, a trip the UK may be in store!

As you’re writing your memoirs, I know many of you are picturing your stories coming to life as a script for the movies or theater. If you happen to be anywhere London, England, your vision could become reality sooner than you think.

Stillpoint, a British theatrical troupe, has established The Department of Unreliable Memoirs to conduct a “micro project” as part of the White Night presentations at one of its performance venues, the Nightingale Theater in Brighton. Billed as “an intimate encounter for one audience member,” the project requires the players to act out a scene from the life of an audience member who volunteers to describe the action. As the audience-member storyteller, you can play fast and loose with the facts: “Make an appointment with our helpful hostesses to retrieve a half-forgotten moment, from a past you may well have had,” the promotion states.

It sounds as if it’s all in good fun, but maybe you could apply the concept as part of your memoirs writing process. Think about the various scenes from your life’s chapters. Which elements create drama? Can you incorporate humor in the story? Or does it amount to a tragedy? How can the narrative of this vignette further the character development of the players in your life? And if you’d like to see actors play it out right in front of you, a trip the UK may be in store!

April 17th, 2012 by admin


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What You and Carole King Have in Common

What You and Carole King Have in Common
On NBC’s Today Show this morning, Ann Curry interviewed iconic singer/songwriter Carole King, now 70, about her new memoir, A Natural Woman. As she spoke about her reasons for writing a memoir and the memoir writing process in general, she reminded me of you! Judging by the email we receive from WriteMyMemoirs members, a lot of what Carole expressed is universally felt among people who decide to put their life stories into words. See whether you relate:
Ann: “People say that writing a memoir is incredibly illuminating. What did you learn about yourself?”
Carole: “Oh my gosh, I learned so much….Why did I actually do the things I did, and why did I choose the men I chose?”
In the book, Carole describes some physical abuse at the hands of a lesser-known of her four husbands.
Carole: “The writing of this story—I wasn’t sure I was going to include it in the book—but I wanted people to understand, people who go through [domestic abuse]—mostly women but some men—that you’re not alone. This is a phenomenon that can even happen to somebody like me, who was successful, who had financial independence.” The book includes information about where to go for help.
Carole on why it took 12 years, until age 70, to finish the book: “I finally felt the calmness….People have said, ‘You should write about your life,’ for a lot of my life because I have such an interesting life. But it was only until just before I was 60 that I just said, ‘Okay, I’m ready to embrace this stage of my life.”
Ann, noting that Carole has more than 400 compositions recorded by 1000+ artists to her credit, plus five grandchildren: “How do you want to be remembered…now that you’ve looked back on [your life]?
Carole: “My goal every day is to try to be a good person, to try to do kind things, to try to make the world a better place in the ways that I can. And if I have influenced one person in a good way, that’s good enough.”
Click here to view video of the entire interview.

On NBC’s Today Show this morning, Ann Curry interviewed iconic singer/songwriter Carole King, now 70, about her new memoir, A Natural Woman. As she spoke about her reasons for writing a memoir and the memoir writing process in general, she reminded me of you! Judging by the email we receive from WriteMyMemoirs members, a lot of what Carole expressed is universally felt among people who decide to put their life stories into words. See whether you relate:

Ann: “People say that writing a memoir is incredibly illuminating. What did you learn about yourself?”
Carole: “Oh my gosh, I learned so much….Why did I actually do the things I did, and why did I choose the men I chose?”

In the book, Carole describes some physical abuse at the hands of a lesser-known of her four husbands.
Carole: “The writing of this story—I wasn’t sure I was going to include it in the book—but I wanted people to understand, people who go through [domestic abuse]—mostly women but some men—that you’re not alone. This is a phenomenon that can even happen to somebody like me, who was successful, who had financial independence.” The book includes information about where to go for help.

Carole on why it took 12 years, until age 70, to finish the book: “I finally felt the calmness….People have said, ‘You should write about your life,’ for a lot of my life because I have such an interesting life. But it was only until just before I was 60 that I just said, ‘Okay, I’m ready to embrace this stage of my life.”

Ann, noting that Carole has more than 400 compositions recorded by 1000+ artists to her credit, plus five grandchildren: “How do you want to be remembered…now that you’ve looked back on [your life]?”
Carole: “My goal every day is to try to be a good person, to try to do kind things, to try to make the world a better place in the ways that I can. And if I have influenced one person in a good way, that’s good enough.”

Click here to view video of the entire interview.

April 10th, 2012 by admin


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Writing as Therapy

Writing as Therapy
Product or process—which is your main reason for writing your memoir? Do you dearly want to produce a book that traces your life story for others to read or, rather, are you primarily using your memoir writing project as a therapeutic means of working through problems?
Writing in a recent New York Times Sunday Magazine, Steve Almond argues that the number of writing workshops, writing conferences and university-level creative writing programs has exploded to fill the void previously occupied by traditional “talk therapy” sessions with a counselor. The iconic image of the patient on the couch confiding in a therapist is a picture from the past, Almond maintains. Today, he says, troubled people take prescribed medication to sort of fix their brain chemistry and, while that may make them feel better, it’s not fulfilling.
Therefore what creative writers want, says Almond, who currently leads a writer’s workshop for people in their 50s and 60s, is “permission to articulate feelings that were somehow off limits within the fragile habitat of their families….[Creative writing] almost always involves a direct engagement with [the] inner life, as well as a demand for greater empathy and disclosure. These goals are fundamentally therapeutic.” To any of you who have landed at WriteMyMemoirs in an effort to claim your right to express yourself, sort through the difficult aspects of your life or quiet “the human heart in conflict with itself,” as Almond quotes William Faulkner, please feel very welcome here.

Product or process—which is your main reason for writing your memoir? Do you dearly want to produce a book that traces your life story for others to read or, rather, are you primarily using your memoir writing project as a therapeutic means of working through problems?

Writing in a recent New York Times Sunday Magazine, Steve Almond argues that the number of writing workshops, writing conferences and university-level creative writing programs has exploded to fill the void previously occupied by traditional “talk therapy” sessions with a counselor. The iconic image of the patient on the couch confiding in a therapist is a picture from the past, Almond maintains. Today, he says, troubled people take prescribed medication to sort of fix their brain chemistry and, while that may make them feel better, it’s not fulfilling.

Therefore what creative writers want, says Almond, who currently leads a writer’s workshop for people in their 50s and 60s, is “permission to articulate feelings that were somehow off limits within the fragile habitat of their families….[Creative writing] almost always involves a direct engagement with [the] inner life, as well as a demand for greater empathy and disclosure. These goals are fundamentally therapeutic.” To any of you who have landed at WriteMyMemoirs in an effort to claim your right to express yourself, sort through the difficult aspects of your life or quiet “the human heart in conflict with itself,” as Almond quotes William Faulkner, please feel very welcome here.

April 3rd, 2012 by admin


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Write Memoirs for “Post-Traumatic Growth”

Write Memoirs for “Post-Traumatic Growth”
We hear a lot about post-traumatic stress. Soldiers in war, victims of crime and survivors of accidents and illnesses all face a heightened risk of dysfunction due to stress simply because of their difficult experiences. But have you ever heard about “post-traumatic growth”? This refers to the positive effects that a traumatic experience can have on us. We can actually learn from our trauma.
Many of the people who write to us here at WriteMyMemoirs share with us their personal tragedies, losses and challenges in putting the past behind them. We always encourage them to write a memoir as a way to work through those life-changing times. Writing it out helps to put things in perspective. It may provide an epiphany “a-ha!” awareness, or it can simply feel satisfying to get the facts in order and explore all the feelings involved.
Whether you have had a fully traumatic life or you’ve experienced just one traumatic event, please don’t let the post-traumatic stress define you. By writing your memoir, perhaps you will be able to turn it around and experience post-traumatic growth that allows you to move on. Instead of trying futilely to forget what happened to you, you’ll be confronting it. You’ll take the power back and, while you can’t reverse what happened, you can find a way to grow from it. Moreover, you may be helping others who read your memoir.

We hear a lot about post-traumatic stress. Soldiers in war, victims of crime and survivors of accidents and illnesses all face a heightened risk of dysfunction due to stress simply because of their difficult experiences. But have you ever heard about “post-traumatic growth”? This refers to the positive effects that a traumatic experience can have on us. We can actually learn from our trauma.

Many of the people who write to us here at WriteMyMemoirs share with us their personal tragedies, losses and challenges in putting the past behind them. We always encourage them to write a memoir as a way to work through those life-changing times. Writing it out helps to put things in perspective. It may provide an epiphany “a-ha!” awareness, or it can simply feel satisfying to get the facts in order and explore all the feelings involved.

Whether you have had a fully traumatic life or you’ve experienced just one traumatic event, please don’t let the post-traumatic stress define you. By writing your memoir, perhaps you will be able to turn it around and experience post-traumatic growth that allows you to move on. Instead of trying futilely to forget what happened to you, you’ll be confronting it. You’ll take the power back and, while you can’t reverse what happened, you can find a way to grow from it. Moreover, you may be helping others who read your memoir.

March 27th, 2012 by admin


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No Time to Read? This is For You!

No Time to Read? This is For You!
If you’re really hunkerin’ down and writing your memoirs, you may think you’re too busy to read books. After all, you’re writing one! But I urge you to keep up with your reading during this time, because other authors’ work inspires you to use language well and to continue until you’ve completed your project—so that you’ll have something for other people to read.
To fit reading into your tight schedule, try this idea from DailyLit.com. When you sign up with DailyLit for free, you can choose a book to have emailed to you in regular installments that each take just a few minutes to read. So while you’re reading your email, you’re also reading a book. You tell DailyLit exactly what time and how often to send you the installments—as the name indicates, a daily email is the norm—and you can always order another installment right away if you have time and can’t put the “book” down.
“We created DailyLit because we spent hours each day on email but could not find the time to read a book,” the website says. “Now the books come to us by email. Problem solved.” Although some books do have a fee attached, many are free because the site is supported by advertising. I especially encourage you to read other people’s memoirs, so click on this DailyLit page and you’ll find some of those. And then you can get back to writing your own memoirs!

If you’re really hunkerin’ down and writing your memoirs, you may think you’re too busy to read books. After all, you’re writing one! But I urge you to keep up with your reading during this time, because other authors’ work inspires you to use language well and to continue until you’ve completed your project—so that you’ll have something for other people to read.

To fit reading into your tight schedule, try this idea from DailyLit.com. When you sign up with DailyLit for free, you can choose a book to have emailed to you in regular installments that each take just a few minutes to read. So while you’re reading your email, you’re also reading a book. You tell DailyLit exactly what time and how often to send you the installments—as the name indicates, a daily email is the norm—and you can always order another installment right away if you have time and can’t put the “book” down.

“We created DailyLit because we spent hours each day on email but could not find the time to read a book,” the website says. “Now the books come to us by email. Problem solved.” Although some books do have a fee attached, many are free because the site is supported by advertising. I especially encourage you to read other people’s memoirs, so click on this DailyLit page and you’ll find some of those. And then you can get back to writing your own memoirs!

March 20th, 2012 by admin


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The Power of Photos in Your Memoirs

The Power of Photos in Your Memoirs
We were asked recently how to add a photograph to a WriteMyMemoirs writing page. Great question! Visuals aid the reader’s mental picture of the events that took place and the people who played a role, but they also help you, the author.
As you review the many photos you have around the house, you’ll be reminded of off-your-radar episodes and people you may want to consider for topics in your memoir. Also, the combination of visual elements and text will provide you with the most valuable record of your memories. Even when photographs do not make your “final cut” for inclusion, they can jog your memory. Looking at a picture of your childhood home, for example, will enable you to describe the structure with accuracy and enriching detail.
So how do you add a photo to a WriteMyMemoirs page? On the page in your account, just click on the icon at the far right. That will bring up a selection of stock photos, but it also will provide a button marked “upload” that you can click on to take you into your own computer files. Then you need to find the file in which it’s stored, and you should be able to follow directions from there. If your photo is not in digital form, you will have to scan it first in order to store the digital form on your computer.

We were asked recently how to add a photograph to a WriteMyMemoirs writing page. Great question! Visuals aid the reader’s mental picture of the events that took place and the people who played a role, but they also help you, the author.

As you review the many photos you have around the house, you’ll be reminded of off-your-radar episodes and people you may want to consider for topics in your memoir. Also, the combination of visual elements and text will provide you with the most valuable record of your memories. Even when photographs do not make your “final cut” for inclusion, they can jog your memory. Looking at a picture of your childhood home, for example, will enable you to describe the structure with accuracy and enriching detail.

So how do you add a photo to a WriteMyMemoirs page? On the page in your account, just click on the icon at the far right. That will bring up a selection of stock photos, but it also will provide a button marked “upload” that you can click on to take you into your own computer files. Then you need to find the file in which it’s stored, and you should be able to follow directions from there. If your photo is not in digital form, you will have to scan it first in order to store the digital form on your computer.

March 13th, 2012 by admin


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